I finally figured out where my social and communication problems lie

Discussion in 'onTopic' started by Kita, 20 Jul 2015.

  1. Kita

    Kita Should Update Title

    Fuck you, convictionless waifs. You can exist as a wisp of existence, tiptoe through life avoiding anything mildly uncomfortable. I refuse to. No one will ever hate you because no one will ever remember you either. You make your existence insignificant to anyone except yourself by refusing to make impact. You become infinitely more selfish by only worrying about your own world and well being instead of sharing with others. Do you know whay I say to my idols? "Thank you. Thank you for being you and sharing yourself." I will be changing it to "Thank you for being you and having the conviction to share yourself."

    Fuck you for hating me and judging me for giving a shit enough about the world around me to speak and act with conviction. Have a spine and engage in the world. Quit being so fucking self absorbed and give a shit about something other than your own image. Express something. Dare to be wrong. Dare to be right. Dare to engage. Dare to commit.

    My personality shouldn't be scaring people off, it should be encouraging participation and thought. Correct me when I'm wrong. I'll thank you for it, trust me. Debate me, I'll keep it civil and informative. Because I give a shit. You might learn something. You might feel something.

    In an image obsessed country of waifs, it's no wonder I am always in a universe of my own. Having thoughts and convictions are criticized multitudes times more than the actual content. No one wants to engage the content of the words because they are too scared of their existence offending. So they talk in circles about nothing and become upset when placed in a position where they need a thought or opinion that might cause others to have thoughts or opinions or FEEL something.

    I don't know where the soma fountain is that everyone is drinking from, but I have no intention of existing so mindless and self involved.


    /middle finger

    That is all. :)
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  2. Briana

    Briana Vibrating erver closer to 4th Density

    I love this post Kita.

    You are never in a universe alone Kita :grouphug2: because we are here with you and you share your frustrations with us, and we do the same with you.

    More importantly, the expression and display of wit and intellect through a dialog is to me extremely arousing. Strong convictions behind such expressions are even more arousing, thank you! :happy::hug:

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  3. Kick Frenzy

    Kick Frenzy HUZZAH!

    Um, Kita, who the hell are you hanging out with in RL?
    Sounds like you may need to escape a circle or two.
    Or, putting another way, YOU are not the one with social and communication problems.

    That's like coming to the realization that someone who reads Sandman comic books has an issue relating to those who prefer Family Circus.
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  4. Kita

    Kita Should Update Title

    I just hang out with people who want to hang out with me. Geeks are introverts like me, so I have found it very, very hard to make friends with them. And if it is possible, I have even found fail-geeks.

    The last geeks I hung out with were pretty much a bunch of kids, fresh out of high school all high school buddies and liked to talk about high school drama and how much of little shits they were. Most had a LOT of growing up to do. And, once again, a few of them had a problem with me, a few liked me. I didn't play speed D&D, I stood up for my teammates, and tried to power through the favoritism and bullying from the few. One friend was power-playing, and I looked up rules/ spells multiple times and called him on it when he was using it to bully. Ticked him off royally because I am very new to D&D and still learning spells myself. Last time I played with them, he helped another guy conspire to destroy me with their new characters. DM said he looked everything up and it was all allowed. Bullshit. I looked up the crux spells afterwards... 100% not allowed, even SPECIFICALLY mentioning the situation that happened as being an example of what CANNOT be done with the ability. Nothing they did to fuck with me was allowed, the DM was just being a prick and going along with his prick friends. The people who liked me left the table, because they knew what was about to happen and wanted no part of it (one of the guys had been blabbing/ bragging about what he was going to do). They were trying to strip me of all my treasure, kill my pets, and try to kill me, and thought they found a way to do this to my level 9+ character with a level 3 and level 1 character and a level 5 muscle (who backed out and didn't do his part. I could tell they tried to strong arm him into it, but he had no beef with me and didn't like the plan either).

    One guy was going on meta-beef that, get this, was inspired by a stupid thing I did when I RPed... I had my character be all aloof, but my raptor was Mr. Cuddles, and loved to hug, so introductions involved the raptor approving new characters, and the raptor approved people through a hug. The guy who had a problem with this couldn't stop dying, and was on his 4th character or so. He REALLY didn't like that the DM made him roll to hug my raptor every time he trotted out another level 1 and wanted to join the group... stupid, right? And the last three of his character were all RP family related, so I thought that it was even funnier that my raptor took an affinity to them instantly due to smelling alike. He thought this was just terrible. And the DM sided with him on it. The guy took it personally, like I raptor raped him IRL. And the bully just liked to bully (he blamed his asshole-ness on PTSD and his friends went along with it... pffftt), so he gleefully joined in with a plan and a freshly rolled character with skills specifically leveled for the plan. I caught the bully's first attempt on trying to kill my raptor, after he asked for a hug from the raptor. I explained to him that he already gotten his hug when they first met the previous game. I could see the look in his eye... he had suddenly decided he wanted to stick a dagger in the raptor's back after the other guy expressed a beef. I am sure the DM would have let his level 3 kill my level 7 or so raptor, even though... ya, no. Really, just no, he couldn't do a fucking thing without losing his eyes.

    The other person who didn't like me was just a bitch who rolled a character that used the same weapons and armor as me, and was ticked I was rolling on stuff. She was a spellcaster/healer that used weapons, I was a beastmaster and needed different weapons for different situations/ stances. She thought I was being selfish to roll on a variety of weapons and gear (but never on stuff obviously for the warrior, Paladin or spellcasters) and all the bows, so I know she wanted me out too and was fueling the fire. I was ticked when the whole group decided to let me roll alone on a item that summoned beasts, but she whined about me getting all the treasures, and argued that I could already control beasts, so she rolled on it. She won. Then she used it a few games later and lost control of the beasts, the end result of which was destroying our ship, losing all our gold, getting three characters killed (including herself), and making us outlaws. Bitch, we TOLD you to let ME take the item, because I can CONTROL the fucking beasts that come out!

    ...the other 5 at the table liked me, at least...

    Quite a cluster of a game. Didn't play with them after they tried to kill my beasts and take all my stuff (oh, hey, both beefs solved!) with the DM's approval. Obnoxious. Couldn't even get along with geeks doing geeky-ass shit. :( (though I would argue many fell on the 'dork' spectrum... there were some derpy people in the group, specifically the ones who had a beef with me and derpy whiny chick who had a slight drooly drawl. I guess that makes me feel better that the smart and normal people in the group had no problem with me, just the derpier ones. And there was a kid playing too, no relation to them, whose mom was cool with him joining the game solely because she had met me, liked me, and knew I was joining the game.)

    It has put me off of D&D, because I am still afraid I must be an obnoxious player :/

    ...just a morning nonsense rant. Ho-hum. Never quite got all that out before now. I feel better now. :)
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  5. Mulch

    Mulch Why does the drum come hither?

    those kids were gutter trash. i told you that when you told me they didnt know what steam was because they refused to pay for video games out of principle (the principle being that they are gutter trash)
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  6. Kita

    Kita Should Update Title

    All their gaming computers were infested with spyware. I saw it popping up all over the effing place when they used them. No surprise.

    Their 4 year old was pretty fucking cute. Here is a video of him:

    Spot on. Except he mostly watched videos of minecraft, then actually went and played minecraft with the skill of quite the toddler prodigy. I watched him build a full on house from scratch, with a fireplace, benches, doors, windows, roof, stairs, chimney, indoor pool (more like a little hot tub) and an outhouse, using appropriate material for all of these. I think he might have even landscaped the effing thing. He definitely tiled the roof, which blew my mind. Did it in maybe 30 minutes. He had trouble explaining what he was doing in any known language since he was, in fact, 4 years old, but HOLY SHIT.

    Raised by X-Box! Kids these days...
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  7. nina

    nina still prettier than you

    damn kita. i was never able to quite put my finger on it, but you nailed my sentiments perfectly in op.
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  8. Kick Frenzy

    Kick Frenzy HUZZAH!

    Well, Kita... al I really have to say here is... I would LOVE to play D&D with you!

    I still fondly remember my half-orc, wine-loving, jump-addicted monk.
    (I think he was half-orc, 1/4 elf, 1/4 human... I think.)
    (I know he was snaggle-toothed though... which was great to RP.)
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